John McCain lashed out at critics of his VP pick, Sarah Palin, who have called her ’just another pretty face’.
“My friendssss, war is not pretty–unless you can make war from an airplane while wearing lipstick and a little rouge. When I went into battle, not only did I look pretty, I felt pretty. I wore 100% silk stockings–no nylon for this flyboy, and one of those bullet bras from the fifties. That way, I didn’t feel guilty about what I was doing, because I was dressed like a prom queen on every bombing misson. Some times I even flew while in heels – try landing an A-1 Skyraider on a carrier in the Gulf of Tonken in a typhoon with a garter belt riding up your butt cheeks, a broken bra strap, 4″ stiletto heels that keep slipping off the rudder pedal, and a tiara that won’t stay on straight! Let’s see Mr. big man Obama hold his war face under those conditions! I smell cheese! What day is it? You kids stay off my dog—”
He was then suddenly rushed away by ’senior advisors’ dressed as nurses.
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