Category Archives: election

Isn’t it Ironic? Police Seize Flag from Veteran on the Fourth of July.

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Police in the tiny village of Crivitz, Wisconsin, trespassed onto an Iraq war veteran’s property and stole his American flag, which was being flown upside town as a protest regarding a business dispute the veteran is having with the village’s seat of government. 

Flying the American flag upside down is an accepted way to signal distress, and the veteran, Vito Congine, was signaling his distress over a decision the village council’s decision to deny his restaurant a liquor license.

On the Fourth of July, the day Americans celebrate their independence from a tyrannical government (often with the aid of liquor – more irony), the village council decided his protest was not appropriate.

 Village President John Deschane, 60, an Army veteran who served in Vietnam, said many people in town believe it’s disrespectful to fly the flag upside down.

“If he wants to protest, let him protest but find a different way to do it,” Deschane said.

 Meaning what? Protest in a way that is not seen as a protest? 

Congine, a Marine veteran who served in Iraq in 2004, said he intends to keep flying the flag upside down. “It is pretty bad when I go and fight a tyrannical government somewhere else,” Congine said, “and then I come home to find it right here at my front door.”

 Amen, brother.

When contacted by this reporter, Mayor Vaughn, formally the mayor of Amity—the town made famous in the movie JAWS—had this to say: “We just don’t want that kind of element around while decent folks are trying to enjoy what we think will be a beautiful day, the beaches on Lake Superior are open and people are having a wonderful time, and “Independence Day”, as you know, means “don’t offend people in power”. And let’s be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed protest using the American flag… And I’m not going to stand here and see that flag being waved upside down and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock again.”

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Palin Votes, Goofs Up on Ballot – Writes in “The Maverick”…

When reporters asked Sarah Palin who she voted for, she initially refused to answer any questions, but then remembered that the campaign is over and she no longer has to worry about sounding foolish. So she stop worrying and started sounding foolish.

 

“O, I voted for ‘The Maverick’ a course,” Palin told reporters. “Funny thing is, I didn’t see him on the ballot, so I fixed that little glitch by writing ‘The Maverick’ on my ballot. You’d think that after all the times I’d told people we gotta send the Maverick to Washington, they’d a figured that out and put his name on the ballot.”

 

When a reporter explained to her that nicknames don’t count, she replied, “Dooh!” and tried to re-enter the voting booth but was stopped by election judges.

 

The voting booth she used was created for her by Louis Vuitton and cost $287,000. After the election, Palin said it will be donated as a shelter to a homeless Wasillan family.

 

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10,000 Mickey Mouses Cast Votes in Orlando, Florida.

Just as the Right Wing Nuts predicted, voter fraud is rampant in Florida today.

 

In addition to the 10,000 Mickey’s, exit polls show that nearly 10 million Dumbo’s will vote for John McCain, and 15 million Elmer Fudd’s for Palin.

 

With this sudden and surprising shift to McCain among Disney cartoon characters, John McCain immediately seized the opportunity to get them to vote: “My cartoon friends,” McCain told a rally of cardboard cutouts of Disney characters he hastily assembled for reporters, “Senator Obama is just like ‘Jafar’ in Disney’s 1992 movie, Aladdin. And he is bent on the destruction of Snow White’s all across this great country.”

 

Campaign ‘aides’ dressed as nurses then subdued McCain and led him away.

 

It is now rumored that Oliver Stone is set to direct a Disney movie about the McCain / Palin campaign tentatively titled, “An Extremely Goofy Campaign”. Sarah Palin will be portrayed by Cruella De Vil, while the part of John McCain will be played by Scrooge McDuck.

 

 

Palin: “The Founding Fathers were Gay Communists.”

 

“They wore wigs and established what they called ‘free public education’,” Palin told a crowd of near-mutants. “Even people who didn’t have children had to contribute tax money to pay for the education of the community’s children—I’m not making this stuff up—and I saw it in a movie once were George Washington was writing a letter with a pen that had a big feather on it. How gay is that?”

 

Someone in the crowd then yelled, “Washington was a fag!”

 

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After the Election: Sarah Palin Becomes Wasilla Real Estate Agent

  Make your covenant with this beautiful 3-bedroom home just as God did with the house of Israel!  Professionally landscraped yard— amenities include curbside mailbox. Sign stating “This is no longer a meth lab” included.

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  “Blessed are the peacemakers” and blessed is the deal you can swing on this fabulous home—large family room, formal dining room, eat-in kitchen and den. Other features include walk-in closets and walk-through walls.

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  This two story detached, freestanding home built in 1942 is a home to die for and be born-again!  It has 1.5 bedrooms, 1.2 baths and is approximately 800 sq. ft. when weather permits.

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“Like a wise man who built his house upon the rock” you’ll have lots to be thankful for in this attached townhouse with a formal dining room, community hotplate, ceiling fan, vaulted ceilings, and window treatments (screens). Priced to go faster than the saved during the Rapture!               
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  Go ahead, pass judgment on this house! By outward appearances it has a recently re-landscaped yard, retention pond / jacuzzi. Your soul will be warmed by the huge fireplace in the kitchen / bathroom.

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“He will never permit the righteous to be moved” UNLESS they see this gorgeous 2-story detached home built in 1932 with a bedroom. Just a short walk to community bathroom.

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 You won’t have to covet your neighbor’s house after you move into this dazzling .5-bedroom home! With nearly 500-sq. ft. of living space, you’ll be the envy of nonbelievers for miles around. Includes a formal dining room, breakfast nook, den/office, and clothes line. Custom cabinetry in the family room that would make the Carpenter of Bethlehem blush.

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“Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord”—but don’t wait too long!—these premier homes will go fast!

 

Call Sarah Palin’s Fisher of Men Reality today! 666-666-666!

 

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Sarah Palin on Torture: Perform Water-Boarding and Forced Baptism at the Same Time.

At a campaign rally this morning, Sarah Palin offered a compromise to the controversy regarding the torture of ‘War on Terror’ detainees. She proposed to add forced baptism to all U.S. DoD water boarding procedures.

 “This way, we will be learning how they plan on attacking us and saving their souls at the same time,” Palin told a cheering crowd of near-mutants. “As we make our country safer, we can also send the souls of terrorists to Heaven and thereby lessen the number of demons who’ll rise up from the depths of hell on the day of Armageddon and walk the Earth and try to eat our children’s brains.”

 

“The reason the Republicans found Joe the Plumber was to find someone hanging around a toilet other than Larry Craig.”

Thanks for that laugh, James Carville!