Hunter S. Thompson’s Letter to Bush Found!

Dear President Bush,

 

I’m afraid it’s become perfectly clear to me and a lot of other people that you’re wasting your time trying to communicate in a language you’ve never mastered and probably never will…especially now, in light of the new information we have on the republican IQ factor…and in trying to salvage your presidential “legacy’.

 

Most of the people who know you agree that your best chance of increasing your popularity now is to gracefully bow out in a quasi-Japanese method – perhaps by going on an all pretzel diet while watching tennis on TV. We know that you are incapable of swallowing and performing rapid eye movement at the same time, so the activity I described will work out best for all concerned, especially your family. If you happen to survive that, after leaving office, I recommend you live as anonymously as possible, in a Texas border town perhaps, doing what republicans do best in those regions — engaging in the buying and selling of children and snorting of crystal methamphetamine off hunting knives.
When the end comes, I hope you will show some decency by not being an organ donor. No one deserves any part of you lingering within them – who knows what might happen – your situation could be f&%king contagious and should not be studied by scientists due to the potential error factor in cloning and whatnot. Better all traces of you be purged from this universe once and for all.

Ciao,

HST

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