Category Archives: Bush

SARAH PALIN RESIGNS TO BECOME WASILLA REAL ESTATE AGENT!

home12

Make your covenant with this beautiful 3-bedroom home just as God did with the house of Israel!  Professionally landscraped yard— amenities include curbside mailbox. Sign stating “This is no longer a meth lab” included.

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home11  

“Blessed are the peacemakers” and blessed is the deal you can swing on this fabulous home—large family room, formal dining room, eat-in kitchen and den. Other features include walk-in closets and walk-through walls.

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home12  

This two story detached, freestanding home built in 1942 is a home to die for and be born-again!  It has 1.5 bedrooms, 1.2 baths and is approximately 800 sq. ft. when weather permits.

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home4

“Like a wise man who built his house upon the rock” you’ll have lots to be thankful for in this attached townhouse with a formal dining room, community hotplate, ceiling fan, vaulted ceilings, and window treatments (screens). Priced to go faster than the saved during the Rapture!               

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home51

 Go ahead, pass judgment on this house! By outward appearances it has a recently re-landscaped yard, retention pond / jacuzzi. Your soul will be warmed by the huge fireplace in the kitchen / bathroom.

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 home5

“He will never permit the righteous to be moved”  UNLESS they see this gorgeous 2-story detached home built in 1932 with a bedroom. Just a short walk to community bathroom.

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 home12 

You won’t have to covet your neighbor’s house after you move into this dazzling .5-bedroom home! With nearly 500-sq. ft. of living space, you’ll be the envy of nonbelievers for miles around. Includes a formal dining room, breakfast nook, den/office, and clothes line. Custom cabinetry in the family room that would make the Carpenter of Bethlehem blush.

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“Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord”—but don’t wait too long!—these premier homes will go fast!

 

Call Sarah Palin’s Fisher of Men Reality today! 666-666-666!

 

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First Sighting of Republican Who Admits Voting for Bush Sighted in 4 years!

DETROIT – A biologist has confirmed the sighting of a ‘Republican who voted for Bush’, the small-brained but divisive animal known for its vicious attacks, about 2 weeks after the species was last seen in the state attempting to convince voters there that it knows how to “fix” things other than past elections. Polls show that voters in Michigan essentially adopted the animal as their unofficial State ”Bird” by giving the creature the middle finger.

 

The Republican, a member of the weasel family, grows to about 380 pounds when on pain-killers and is ferocious enough to fight off gays, children left behind, persons on Medicare, and the millions who’ve lost jobs in the past 7 years. It once ranged across the southern and mid-western United States but is now limited mostly to lobbyist fund raising parties, Bob Jones College, and Men’s Public Restrooms. In the past is was occasionally sighted at Texas Air National Guard drills, but exhibited AWOL behavior whenever drug testing was present.

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EXCLUSIVE! Bush’s Note to Obama!

Dear Barack Osama,

 

Good luck cleanin’ up the mess I made – I done it on purpose! Anyway, I am about to enter what is called the “private’s sector”, meanin’ I might have to go to work for my daddy agin but he already told me to take a flying F at the moon. So I pondered where I might best eek out a livin’ and it suddenly came to me: I’m gonna work on Wall Street. So here’s your chance to get in on the ground floor of the George Dubya Bush Hedge Hog Fund. I gararntee you’ll get a return on your vestment cause I got experience with the ‘conomy and stuff. Or, I  might become a military advisory for the State of Alaska after Sarah Palin declares there interdepenacy.

 

-Dubya

 

P S – the White House pool water is treated with a special chemical what causes the water around you to turn bright red if you relieve your bladder (pee) while in the pool. Ol’ Clinton neglected to tell me that back in 2000, but I thought I’d give you a better start on your presidency than what I got.

 

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Bush names Santa Claus new head of Homeland Security.

In (God only hopes) his last official act of malfeasance (there is still almost 30 days before our national nightmare has ended, so keep both your fingers and toes crossed), George W. Bush has pegged Santa Clause as the Director of Homeland Security.

 

“I think that Santi Clause, being able to sneak into any home, includin’ the White House, is the perfect choice for this position—besides, I think we went to college together, er were in the Texas Air National Guard—I ‘m not sure, ‘cause those days is a little hazy, if you catch my drift, hehehehe,” Bush told reporters. “I thinks that if he could sneak into the White House an’ leave me lots of really neat presents in Laura’s handwritten’ each year, then he could also sneak into the home or cave—whatever—of Obama Bin Laden and finish him off with some piano wire, even though those Muslins don’t believe in no Santi Clause or Baby Jesus.”

 

Bush then broke out into some break-dance moves, hoping above all chances of hope that he would be not remembered as the Liar-Time President.

 

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Mann Coulter’s Jaws Wired Shut! (at last…)

ann_coulter_1998_10_19_on_pbs

 

OmyGawd, Mann, I’m sooooo surry you’re jaws are like wired shut and everything. I guess you did it on purpose because you think you’re too faaat and that all gummy bear diet didn’t work.

 

Well, you’re right, you are too fat. Everytime I see you I think, like, what a huge cow, my gwad.

 

So I think you should like keep your jaws wired shut for about 10 years. And then there’s that pesky foreskin that keeps growing back like a lizard’s tail. Oooo, gross. Well, I guess that’s what happens when you have your sex-change operation done by an Appalachian mountain woman.

 

Can I ask you something personal? What’s up with the Adam’s apple? Your attempts at hiding it with make-up remind me of that scene in Roxanne when Steve Martin tries to downplay his Cyrano schnozz with some dark shading cosmetics. Except your Adam’s apple in real life is bigger than his nose in that movie.

 

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Palin: “The Founding Fathers were Gay Communists.”

 

“They wore wigs and established what they called ‘free public education’,” Palin told a crowd of near-mutants. “Even people who didn’t have children had to contribute tax money to pay for the education of the community’s children—I’m not making this stuff up—and I saw it in a movie once were George Washington was writing a letter with a pen that had a big feather on it. How gay is that?”

 

Someone in the crowd then yelled, “Washington was a fag!”

 

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First Michigan Republican Spotted in Over 2 Weeks

DETROIT – A biologist has confirmed the sighting of a Republican, the small-brained but divisive animal known for its vicious attacks, about 2 weeks after the species was last seen in the state attempting to convince voters there that it knows how to “fix” things other than past elections. Polls show that voters in Michigan essentially adopted the animal as their unofficial State “Bird” by giving the creature the middle finger.

 

The Republican, a member of the weasel family, grows to about 380 pounds when on pain-killers and is ferocious enough to fight off gays, children left behind, persons on Medicare, and the millions who’ve lost jobs in the past 7 years. It once ranged across the southern and mid-western United States but is now limited mostly to lobbyist fund raising parties, Bob Jones College, and Men’s Public Restrooms. In the past is was occasionally sighted at Texas Air National Guard drills, but exhibited AWOL behavior whenever drug testing was present.

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