Category Archives: movies

2008 ELECTION FLASHBACK: THE REPUBLICAN “CONVENTION”

The Republicans have hit a new low.

Friday morning, the sanitation crew at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport discovered thousands of used, discarded American flag-colored condoms in the men’s room trash bins. The condoms found are sold under the brand name ”American Flags”, and are sometimes referred to as ‘Zachary Taylor’s’ by Republican men because that president’s nickname was ‘Old Rough and Ready’.

Reports indicate that moments after John McCain’s acceptance speech Thursday night, throngs of Republican men wearing thongs headed to the airport’s facilities where they engaged numerous ‘wide stance’ activities, including a dance called the “Larry Craig Dropped Pants Shuffle”.

Discarding of American flag motif condoms in this manner violates traditional, patriotic etiquette. Such items are to be burned after use, especially when used by Republicans, due to the likely presence of dangerous contagions.

For shame, Republicans, for shame.

The good news is that these patriotic symbols of the Republican Party were saved by a local Boy Scout troop. The boys will tie the red, white, and blue condoms to tiny sticks so that they can be distributed and waived at the McCain / Palin rally in Colorado Springs later in the week.

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Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Prisoner… Why McCain is Losing, and ‘Losing It’…

 

McCain, sounding a bit like Colonel Saito in the Best Picture of 1957, ‘Bridge on the River Kwai’, essential told a rally this morning: “You Are Not Citizens, You Are Prisoners!”

 

I now know why McCain is losing this election: He has seen this movie a dozen too many times and is basing his campaign on it.

 

All he needed to explain his economic policy was another line from the movie: “Be Happy in Your Work.”

 

The Bridge on the River Kwai ranks as one of the greatest films of all time. The movie opens in a Japanese prisoner-of-war camp in Burma in 1943, where a battle of wills rages between camp commander Colonel Saito (Sessue Hayakawa) and newly arrived British colonel Nicholson (Alec Guinness – yes, that’s the guy who later played “Ben” Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars ). Saito insists that Nicholson order his men to build a bridge over the river Kwai, which will be used to transport Japanese munitions. Nicholson refuses, despite all the various “persuasive” devices at Saito’s disposal. Finally, Nicholson agrees, not so much to cooperate with his captor as to provide a morale-boosting project for the military engineers under his command. The colonel will prove that, by building a better bridge than Saito’s men could build, the British soldier is a superior being even when under the thumb of the enemy. As the bridge goes up, Nicholson becomes obsessed with completing it to perfection, eventually losing sight of the fact that it will benefit the Japanese. Meanwhile, American POW Shears (William Holden), having escaped from the camp, agrees to save himself from a court martial by leading a group of British soldiers back to the camp to destroy Nicholson’s bridge. Upon his return, Shears realizes that Nicholson’s mania to complete his project has driven him mad.

 

Great movie (destined to be remade someday), but not a campaign strategy.

 

However, the film’s closing line: “Madness…Madness” seems appropriate.

 

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