McCAIN TRUTH SQUAD REPORT: McCain Married Fellow Panamanian Manuel Noriega in Secret Voodoo Ceremony.

Manuel Noriega, the Panamanian strongman, drug kingpin—and, according to some, childhood lover of John McCain—secretly wed the Arizona Senator early in 1993, during a chicken-blood soaked voodoo ritual.

 

According to factual records produced by Noriega’s attorney, Bennie Blanco from the Bronx, McCain and Noriega were to be divorced in 2007 but could not reach an amicable separation agreement, so Noriega turned McCain into a brain-eating zombie with diaper rash.

 

McCain was born in Panama.

Some say this is one reason he is not qualified to be the President. Irritable bowel syndrome of the brain would be another.

 

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2 responses to “McCAIN TRUTH SQUAD REPORT: McCain Married Fellow Panamanian Manuel Noriega in Secret Voodoo Ceremony.

  1. huntingdonpost

    I am so glad the truth has come out. Yet if McCain is the one with IBS, why is Obama always the one who seems so stiff?

  2. bushgirlsgonewild

    Actually, you’re mistaken on one key point: one is not ‘stiff’ when suffering from IBS, one is loose — too loose, if you understand my meaning…

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