Sarah Palin’s Advice for Teens: How Teeny Boppers Can Stop From Becoming Wienny Boppers.

In late 2007, approximetly three weeks before her daughter Bristol became pregnant, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin initiated a public service program called ‘Sarah Palin’s Tips for Teens’. The idea was to offer guidance to Alaskan teens about the problems they may face protecting their ‘Last Frontier’.

The first issue, entitled “The Real Bridge to Nowhere: Teenage Pregnancy” listed Palin’s contraception advice for teenage girls.

Let’s take a peek, shall we?

‘Young ladies, these are three simple rules to go by if you want to remain pregnant-free. Trust me, I’ve used them for many years, and if I hadn’t, by now I’d have six or seven children instead of only five.

Rule 1: Never trust artificial contraceptive devices such as condoms and birth control pills. They cause stomach cancer. Instead, don’t have sex.

Rule 2: If you’re going to have sex, use natural contraceptive techniques such as standing up during sex, having sex just one time a month (hopefully during that time of the month when you receive your woman’s curse from God), or eating lemons during the filthy act.

Rule 3: Never use the Anchorage Public Swimming Pool.

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4 responses to “Sarah Palin’s Advice for Teens: How Teeny Boppers Can Stop From Becoming Wienny Boppers.

  1. I gotta tell you, I am highly amused. That was a good time.

  2. bushgirlsgonewild

    Glad you liked it…

  3. handsfrozentothesword

    I like humor, I like to laugh…. but I’m reading this and wondering what sort of reaction you’re trying to get from people. If this was funny, you’d have me laughing.

  4. bushgirlsgonewild

    “Hands Frozen to a Sword” is hilarious! I love Monty Python stuff! Thanks for the laugh!

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