As a Truly ‘Special Needs’ Person, Palin is Now Protected From “Gotcha Journalists” By New Secret Service Team.

The Secret Service announced yesterday that Governor Sarah Palin would be the first candidate to receive protection from a new, elite Secret Service division known as the Query Team.

 

Upon sighting a potential or actual “gotcha journalist”, agents of the Query Team alert other one another by shouting “Question!” —then shield the candidate with their bodies as fellow agents perform a ‘swarm maneuver’ on the suspect, taking them to the ground as quickly as possible.

 

Agents then remove all potential weapons from the detainee (or ‘new fish’, as they are referred to by the agents) such as pencils, pens, cell phones, and expensive watches and gold jewelry —provided McCain / Palin supporters haven’t already taken them.

 

Senator Larry Craig (R) of Idaho, upon hearing of the Query Team, flew to the Palin rally held this afternoon and attempted to ask Governor Palin numerous questions.

 

And since the people who attend McCain / Palin rallies could slip seamlessly into the rodeo scene of Borat’s last movie, I’ll save you reporters the trouble of a beating and give you their answers to your questions (regardless of what they may be):

 

“On acountta Barack Hussien Osama is a terrier and my children is ‘fraid of dogs what want to attack ‘Merica…”  

 

“As a goddam fearin’ Christain still recovering from our nation’s crystal meth problem, I do not have a mind to vote for anybody what can’t bowl a higher score than my water-headed cousin fiancée …”  

 

“I am worried ‘bout my family, specially my daughter who I think has fucking Tourette’s syndrome, what’s Osama gonna do ‘bout her special needs?”  

 

“F your daughter, Carl!  Iam 27 years old and still in the 8 grade, what’s Osammy Davis Jr. gonna do ‘bout my special needs?”  

 

 

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The Secret Service announced yesterday that Governor Sarah Palin would be the first candidate to receive protection from a new, elite Secret Service division known as the Query Team.

 

Upon sighting a potential or actual “gotcha journalist”, agents of the Query Team alert other one another by shouting “Question!”—then shield the candidate with their bodies as fellow agents perform a ‘swarm maneuver’ on the suspect, taking them to the ground as quickly as possible.

 

Agents then remove all potential weapons from the detainee (or ‘new fish’, as they are referred to by the agents) such as pencils, pens, cell phones, and expensive watches and gold jewelry—provided McCain / Palin supporters haven’t already taken them.

 

Senator Larry Craig (R) of Idaho, upon hearing of the Query Team, flew to the Palin rally held this afternoon and attempted to ask Governor Palin numerous questions.

 

And since the people who attend McCain / Palin rallies could slip seamlessly into the rodeo scene of Borat’s last movie, I’ll save you reporters the trouble of a beating and give you their answers to your questions (regardless of what they may be):

 

“On acountta Barack Hussien Osama is a terrier and my children is ‘fraid of dogs what want to attack ‘Merica…”  

 

“As a goddam fearin’ Christain still recovering from our nation’s crystal meth problem, I do not have a mind to vote for anybody what can’t bowl a higher score than my water-headed cousin fiancée …”  

 

“I am worried ‘bout my family, specially my daughter who I think has fucking Tourette’s syndrome, what’s Osama gonna do ‘bout her special needs?”  

 

“F your daughter, Carl!  Iam 27 years old and still in the 8 grade, what’s Osammy Davis Jr. gonna do ‘bout my special needs?”  

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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