McCain Picks Larry Craig as ‘Secretary of Interior’.

In yet another Hail Mary attempt to re-ignite the cold engine on the stalled and ready to crash and burn aircraft that is his presidential campaign, John McCain announced this morning that if he is elected President, he will appoint Larry Craig as Secretary of the Interior.

“Larry assures me that he’s had a lot of experience in interiors”, McCain told reporters, “and vice-versa. I’m not sure what he meant by that, but I’m sure I’ll hear about it tonight on the Tonight Show.

Also, Larry’s obviously good at keeping secrets, even from his wife, so that’ll help this fall when we plan to secretly sell oil leases on government land to the highest bidders…….…oops. Please disregard that last statement, my friends.”

 

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