Chuck Norris ‘Kicks’ Out of the Closet; Admits He’s “Super Gay”

 

The now former Republican, Boring–Again Christian Chuck Norris has finally come out of the closet – literally kicking and screaming. 

“YAAAAAAHHH!” Norris screamed at reporters on hand to witness his ‘coming out’ press conference.

He then apolgized. “Ah, sorry, I guess I’m just so nervous about admitting how gay I am. I was inspired by the recent story where Clay Aiken came out and announced to the world that he’s gay. I was shocked. You could have knocked me out with a round-house feather to the head, believe me. I mean, if a guy with a name a tough as ‘Clay’, who had millions of chicks, I mean, sisters, in love with him, well… I guess I can be man enough to admit that I am also gay.”

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