Palin Describes Herself as a ‘Joe Forty-Fluid-Ounces-Between-the-Ears’ American.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin portrayed herself Tuesday as a champion of “extraordinarily everyday” people while noting her family’s stock portfolio took a $20,000 hit last week.

“It’s time that average ‘Joe Forty-Fluid-Ounces-Between-the-Ears’ American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency,” the Republican vice presidential candidate told radio talk show host Hugh Hewitt. “You know, the ‘Forrest Gumps’ of this great nation of ours. We’re the ones what sit in our canoes with a loaded shotgun all night protecting this great land of ours from the Russians. And I think I represent that group just fine, thank you. And I pledge to do whatever it is the vice president is suppose to do just as average as possible, and you can count on that using both hands and feet if you need to. ”

When Hewitt, the Absolute Twit of Talk Radio, asked her if she was qualified, she answered, “Yup.”

When pressed for details, she quipped, “Well, I got a cooter! And John said if that was good enough to get 18 million people to vote for Hillary, then it’s good enough for him.”

And what about the $20,000 your ‘average’ family lost this week in the stock market?

“Boy, I’ll tell ya,” Palin quipped, “that hurt us. That $20,000 could a bought a lot of family fun time in a helicopter shootin’ at Eskimos – er, I mean, moose. I’m always getting them two confused. Todd’s always telling me, ‘Hey dummy! Count the fricken’ legs before ya start shootin!’ – but it’s pretty good fun either way, you betcha.”

The McCain campaign later accused Hewitt of being a sexist for broadcasting Palin’s remarks.

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One response to “Palin Describes Herself as a ‘Joe Forty-Fluid-Ounces-Between-the-Ears’ American.

  1. Well, you know you’re a sexist if you say anything against Palin. Right.

    Yeeeee hawwww! That gave me a tumble deep down in da’ guts. Ya’ made me laugh ‘der boy! Hope I dun’ don’ lose nuna’ my six pack ‘der.

    Good post, as usual.

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