Palin on Kissinger: “I Met My First Jew Today, and He Didn’t Bite Me!”

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin met separately with Dr. Henry Kissinger today in order familiarize herself with world events considered by most as “common knowledge” before her debate with Joe Biden next week.

 

“I met my first Jew today,” Palin boasted, “and he didn’t bite me.”

 

The reason Palin met with Kissinger was to become “familiar with the ways of the warm-blooded flat-landers of the lower 48”, Palin explained.

 

Palin, as a member of the Alaskan Secessionist’s Movement (ASM), grew up in Alaska in a kind if self-imposed exile, cut-off from and completely rejecting American culture, according to Wolfy Van Slacker, an ASM spokesperson.

 

“Heck yeah we pretty much don’t care what goes on outside of Alaska! Duuuh, so what? But Sarah has to play ketchup now so she won’t appear as strange to you folks as you folks appeared to her,” said Van Slacker.

 

“When Sarah returned to us unharmed, we were amazed,” Palin’s mother told reporters, “she told us of the many strange wonders she seen. She even told us, ‘down there, when the boys of the high schools battle in the hockey rink, the winning team is not permitted to carry off the teen-women of the losing village for the mating and calving.’

 

We were proud to be Alaskans that day, I can tell you.”

 

Alaskan secessionists are hoping that as vice president, Palin will win Alaska’s sovereignty by waiting until McCain is too weak to remain chief, then challenge him for leadership of the clan in a battle to the death using elk horns and eagle talons as weapons.

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5 responses to “Palin on Kissinger: “I Met My First Jew Today, and He Didn’t Bite Me!”

  1. This is too funny! I love your blogs. But on a more serious note, I was thinking about this awhile ago. Sarah Palin has been surrounded by people of “her kind” all of her life. This is how she’s made it as far as she has, because out here in the big city, she’d get destroyed.

    There are barely any people of color in the entire state. Imagine, she must be terrified being surrounded by so many Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians now. What will she do?

    She most likely locks her car doors any time she sees a Black man across a parking lot. And if he dares to pass her on the sidewalk, she probably clutches her purse closer. ‘Cause you know, all Black guys are dangerous thugs, right? She’s probably petrified around Barack Obama. Well, she’s never been around him, so we’ll see.

    About 70% of Alaska is comprised of Whites. Then we have about 15% of Alaska being comprised of Native Americans or Alaskan Natives. The rest is all she wrote. And we are talking an entire state here people!

  2. bushgirlsgonewild

    yeah, good points – she isn’t much of a representative of America as a whole.

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