Sarah Palin Kills Moose with Hockey Stick

Cindy McCain, presidential candidate John McCain’s current wife, touted more of Sarah Palin’s foreign policy expertise today by informing reporters that Palin attended college in Moscow, Idaho.

“I wonder if Obama has ever even been to Moscow, much less studied there. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, Obama was on vacation in Hawaii while Sarah Palin was there studying our enemies,“ Cindy McCain said, “it’s even possible she was a spy at the time, gathering intelligence for America, her life constantly at risk as she protected us from possible nuclear annihilation. What was Obama doing at the time? I heard he was taking drugs and chasing white women.”

According to friends and family, Palin attended the University of Hawaii at Hilo after graduation from high school in Alaska in 1982, but left a few weeks later after learning, while attempting to apply for a hunting license, that Hawaii has no moose population. 

After that, Palin traveled to the northwest, attending whichever schools fell within the migratory pattern and home range of North America’s largest moose herd; dropping out of one college and enrolling in another as the herd journeyed from western Montana to Idaho, to Oregon, to Washington, and back again.

One of her roommates during this time, Rita Doppleganger, remembers Palin being an avid hunter, preferring an ice hockey stick to the more traditional bolt-action rifle as her hunting weapon of choice. Often, Rita recalls, as she and Palin studied for exams late at night, Sarah would hear a moose calling in the distance. According to Rita, Sarah would then leap to her feet, grab the ice hockey stick she kept at the side of her bed, and jump out of the dorm room window into the snow below, screaming, “To moose! To moose! Ya, you betcha!” 

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4 responses to “Sarah Palin Kills Moose with Hockey Stick

  1. Funny stuff. I once sang a song bout Moscow, Idaho.

    Sarah Palin really does scare me though.

  2. bushgirlsgonewild

    Me, too. Although Obama and Biden are going to win, it’s frightening to think that if McCain is elected, he has about a 30 percent chance of not living another 4 years. That means a ‘Hockey Mom’ might be the leader of the free world.

    Makes a wonderful Disney movie pitch, but millions of Americans live in reality, not in a world with talking cars, dogs, and toys.

  3. The Republican Party has been high-jacked by the religious right as McCain’s selection of Palin proves. I thought McCain might bring some sanity to back to the party but it turns out experience does count and he is following the George Bush/Carl Rove play book of appealing to the “Gun tottin, God fearin” mob with his choice of Sarah Palin. The least you can say for George Bush is that he picked Cheney, whatever you may think of him, he is no light weight. Another trait about McCain that makes me very uncomfortable is his quick shoot from the hip decision making process. His selection of Palin seems to be a perfect example of this. This seems very similar to George W. Bush’s decision making methodology which landed us in $3 Trillion and counting war without end. And I’m not a democrat. I voted for Bush the first go around. But McCain just doesn’t seem to have the necessary personality traits to be an effective executive. He lost my potential vote for good with his selection of Palin.

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