JUST IN: SARAH PALIN BEING DROPPED FROM TICKET!

As Republicans file out of their convention and the male Republicans begin heading over to the Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport men’s room, little do they realize that the McCain campaign has just pulled another 180 on them.

“Sarah was OK for a night, but I got bored about half way through her speech,” McCain was overheard saying, “and if I have to listen to that whiny nasel harpy for four f#$%ing years, I’ll start reaching for piano wire.”

And so now the McCain camp has decided that they need a new “wow’ factor in their campaign. That’s why McCain has changed his mind, again, and will pick as his running mate R. Lee Ermey, who famously played Senior Drill Instructor Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in the movie Full Metal Jacket.

The campaign’s focus will reflect the energy Ermey brings to the campaign:

Bumper sticker:

What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? McCain / Ermey ‘08

Catch Phrase in Ermey’s Republican convention speech to be given tomorrow night: “If we get elected, Democrats, your days of finger-banging ol’ Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!”

Republican version of Hillary’s 3am TV ad:

Voiceover: It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. Who do you want answering the phone?

Visual: McCain & Hartman are in bed together and the phone is ringing. Ermey picks it up: “If you call here again, I’ll rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world!”

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