Saran Palin’s Tips for Teens

In late 2007, approximetly three weeks before her daughter Bristol became pregnant, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin initiated a public service program called ‘Sarah Palin’s Tips for Teens’. The idea was to offer guidance to Alaskan teens about the problems they may face growing up in ‘The Last Frontier’.

The first issue, entitled “The Real Bridge to Nowhere: Teenage Pregnancy” listed Palin’s contraception advice for teenage girls.

Let’s take a peek, shall we?

‘Young ladies, these are three simple rules to go by if you want to remain pregnant-free. Trust me, I’ve used them for many years, and if I hadn’t, by now I’d have six or seven children instead of only five.

Rule 1: Never trust artificial contraceptive devices such as condoms and birth control pills. They cause stomach cancer. Instead, don’t have sex.

Rule 2: If you’re going to have sex, use natural contraceptive techniques such as standing up during sex, having sex just one time a month (hopefully during that time of the month when you receive your woman’s curse from God), or eating lemons during the filthy act.

Rule 3: Never use the Anchorage Public Swimming Pool.

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6 responses to “Saran Palin’s Tips for Teens

  1. rule # 4, and when you get pregnant, don’t think you have to get married like my daughter Bristol so she is more screwed up.

  2. bushgirlsgonewild

    UPDATE:

    There was another Rule, but I left it out of respect for her son Trig. Here it is:

    Rule 3.5: Never have ‘sex’ while standing on your head. This is how my son Trig was conceived.

    (Sorry–he is a cute little bugger, God bless him.)

  3. fucking funny post.

    The motto of “The Last Frontier Sex Ed Program”:
    With the lack of info we provide, you’re alone in the wilderness. (which is the best way not to get pregnant as well).

  4. I sure am sick of seeing this woman posing with dead animals.

  5. I want Sarah for my Avon Lady

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