Pat Robertson Squeezes Out 2,000 Pounds

Pat Robertson set-up some dead weight leg press equipment outside the GOP convention tonight to demonstrate what he calls “Power of Prayer Lifting.”

“My personal trainer is Jesus”, Robertson told those trying not to gather around him, and he recited his Power of Prayer Lifting Psalm as he leg pressed an amazing 18 pounds:

“The Lord is my personal trainer; I shall not want to resemble most of my viewers.

He maketh me to do cardio warm-ups in green pastures.

He leadeth me beside the free weights.

He restoreth my glycogen.

He leadeth me on the paths of trail running for my hypertension’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the cholesterol of death,
I will fear no trans fatty acids and saturated fat: For personal trainer art with me;

Thy stationary bike and thy treadmill, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a colon hydrotherapy before me in the presence of mine enemas;

And I shall dwell in the gym of the Lord forever.”

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