Mann Coulter’s Jaws Wired Shut! (at last…)

 

OmyGawd, Mann, I’m sooooo surry you’re jaws are like wired shut and everything. I guess you did it on purpose because you think you’re too faaat and that all gummy bear diet didn’t work.

 

Well, you’re right, you are too fat. Everytime I see you I think, like, what a huge cow, my gwad.

 

So I think you should like keep your jaws wired shut for about 10 years. And then there’s that pesky foreskin that keeps growing back like a lizard’s tail. Oooo, gross. Well, I guess that’s what happens when you have your sex-change operation done by an Appalachian mountain woman.

 

Can I ask you something personal? What’s up with the Adam’s apple? Your attempts at hiding it with make-up remind me of that scene in Roxanne when Steve Martin tries to downplay his Cyrano schnozz with some dark shading cosmetics. Except your Adam’s apple in real life is bigger than his nose in that movie.

 

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