Sarahhhhhh…You Got My Porn Mixed In Your Politics.

Letter from John McCain to Sarah Palin:

Dear Sarah, my friend(s),

Oh how I have dreamed of a dream ticket: Me and someone I could replace Cindy with. And I often lay awake at night, sometimes due to my enlarged prostrate, but occasionally because I dream of a younger woman by my left side to protect me from the sun’s harsh rays and help me go to the bathroom. Many presidents have dealt with both affairs and affairs of state, but none of them have thought to combine the two. I have. Now. Oh, Sarah, I can finally trade in Cindy for a newer model. Carol, my first wife and former model, no longer cut the muster after her car accident, so I sought out and found Cindy, a rich and beautiful former model. But, alas, she has aged. Now I have found you. Did I mention that I dig the porn star look?

Love always until you turn 50 or walk with a limp,

Johnny McCain

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